I listened to Chris Brown’s long-ass album from start to finish, and it nearly broke me

Chris Brown clearly doesn’t believe in the idea of leaving your fans wanting more.

On Tuesday, the controversial R&B star dropped a monster of a new album, “Heartbreak on a Full Moon.” It contains 45 tracks (!), and lasts a mind-boggling 2 hours and 40 minutes.

My guess is that Brown is trying to manipulate streaming counts to achieve a higher chart position. He definitely cares about numbers: An Instagram post accompanying the release begged fans to buy multiple copies, if possible.

So is it any good? And, moreover, is it possible to listen to almost three hours of Chris Brown without going certifiably insane?

I tried it, and the results were . . . mixed.

10 minutes

The narrative arc of the album appears to follow the course of a developing relationship. Accordingly, the first third of “Heartbreak’s” songs are almost entirely about copulating, with varying degrees of vigor.

As morally problematic as they may be, the West Coast bounce of “Juicy Booty” and light dancehall of “Questions” have an appeal. I am reminded that Chris Brown is talented, even if it’s an asset he doesn’t always lead with.

30 minutes

Amid his slick sex jams, Brown makes a quick topical detour on “Handle It.” Perplexingly, he states, “I been with the s - - ts.”

Perhaps all that rampant humping was interrupted with a nasty bout of stomach flu? Oh well, it happens to the best of us.

40 minutes

Still with the songs about sex . . .

50 minutes

My energy levels and smut tolerance are flagging, so I break for a replenishing fruit salad. Aren’t strawberries great? And you can’t have sex with them. Unless Chris Brown has somehow figured out a way.

1 hour

The endless odes to intercourse bleed into one another, but there are moments of quality. “Pull Up,” which features Weeknd-esque bursts of soulful crooning and some minimal but enticing production from A1 and Tariq Beats.

1 hour, 20 minutes

We’re reaching the album’s midpoint, and the album’s lovers are entering a rocky phase in their affair. Brown’s feelings are rising to the surface like one long, Auto-Tuned burp.

Songs like “Tough Love” and “Nowhere” capture his yearning for more carefree times. Personally, the only yearning I’m having is for coffee. And lots of it.

1 hour, 45 minutes

Brown’s gone from pill-popping horndog to wimpy soul warbler, moaning about his infidelities and mistakes on “Paradise” and the Michael Jackson-referencing “Even.” A side of Celexa would go great with this coffee.

2 hours

Bathroom break. In my reluctance to resume listening to “Heartbreak,” I strike up an awkward conversation with a co-worker about baseball (a subject I know nothing about) while at the urinal. It’s goes on for just a little too long, and he’s probably going to file an HR complaint against me now.

2 hours, 20 minutes

Great news! Sounds like Brown and his girl have patched things up with the make-up sex anthem “Tell Me What to Do,” in which he implores his better half to “sit on my face.” It’s wonderful that happy days are here again, but it shouldn’t be at the expense of good hygiene.

2 hours, 35 minutes

With the reflective “Grass Ain’t Greener,” Brown’s epic new album finally, and thankfully, ends.

“Heartbreak on a Full Moon” does have some solid hooks and nimble production, but almost three hours? In that amount of time, I could have had a couple of bouts of diarrhea and experienced a torrid, but ultimately fulfilling relationship of my own. Verdict: Don’t try this at home, kids.